Ariel

nce upon a time there lived a poontang princess who was most often found tiptoeing through the tulips. Her hobbies include baking, mooning strangers, and needlecrafts. "Knit, purl, knit, purl," you can hear her whisper if you listen carefully. She loves nothing more than tying that string into such a complex series of knots, often forming a very rude fabric. Rumor has it that the last time someone got in between her and her yarning, she strangled the perpetrator in an elaborate noose constructed of her comically elongated sidekick, Wiener.

Her main form of transportation is said to be a crudely constructed pair of dachshund-based rollerskates. These may be her main downfall in combat--the pitter patter of weenie toenails clanking on the floor. She once got herself out of a pretty sticky situation by churning butter from human breastmilk. Just where she obtained the breastmilk is still a mystery. Stories go on to mention a period of time where she once ingested nothing but corn on the cob for a week, and thoroughly documented the humorous results. Sadly the findings have never been located, this is merely an urban legend at present time.

Because of certain ailments, she is to live without gluten and eggs. She manages just fine, and has shown those jerks who's boss. Her muse incarnate, Cupcake, faithfully documents her gluten free endeavors. Together they are constructing a master plan that includes saving the world from allergens with a gluten, dairy, egg, soy, corn, and nut free bakery.

Her early twenties proved to be some of the most exciting and exhausted years of her life. Between nursing school, her teaching job at a local Quaker school, and the soap opera that is her life (she is a princess, after all), she still finds time to make anything and everything with her own two hands. Her extreme sexual desire for Pee-wee has lead her to this recently recovered photograph titled, "The single best moment of my life". Things like this have also lead to the newly indoctrinated 27th commandment, "Thou shalt not click on any of Ariel's links." Let this be a lesson to you all.

Pet overlay by , minion overlay by Nouveau, profile by Ariel, coding by Retro, drawing by Slumber. Images/textures from: Katibear_Stock, NadinePau, pandoraicons, sevtex.